Choose to Smile
I am a very nostalgic person.
Maybe more so lately than normal.
I'll just flip through the pictures on my phone just to walk through the memories associated with them while nostalgic-ish music is lighting up the background.
Maybe it is the creative monster in me; the one who controls my passion for writing, blogging, and even coffee.
This week has been kind of insane. And as a night shifter, my sleep habits are all out of whack; my body does just whatever it wants to do. I can sleep for 18 hours in a row, or I can sleep for five and my body is like BAM its time to get up and be the most awake you have ever been despite your stress, your job, your terrible sleeping habits.
Most times this happens, the BAM it's wake up time, I will scroll through my phone for an hour or two and then go back to bed.
Well, this time I had a small urge to jump out of bed and run to the gym; these urges kind of stay in my body for all of two minutes, so I had to act fast.
So I jumped out of bed and instead of literally running to the gym, I just drove to the gym in my car.
My gym is right beside a Dunkin Donuts, so naturally, after I got done with realizing that I am very out of shape thanks to crazy 12-hour night shifts, I went to reward myself with a hot latte.
If you know a creative monster at all, you know that moments of inspiration come at random.
Or maybe that is just me.
I was walking out of Dunkin Donuts with a caramel latte in my hands and BAM the nostalgia-triggered inspiration just hit me.
Its like this weird tingly feeling in the center of my chest; its refreshing, really. My next breath feels lighter, my smile gets wider, and I promise this is not because coffee makes me 'high.'
Its in the moments, the cool breeze, the soft sounds, the dim lights, the overcast skies, the mellow songs that surround the background of my car that my moments are filled with inspiration and passion.
These moments are not random, but the inspiration that they seem to conjure up feels at random.
*
My favorite quote I have personally coined is the following.
And I guess that is one of the saddest parts of life. No matter how wonderful the memory, it will never be as beautiful as when it was lived in the present.
This is how it feels to be a very nostalgic person.
And I guess this is also how it feels to be in love with the life you live; to live in accordance with your passions and your emotions.
When you wear your heart on your sleeve, life is so much more deep.
Emotions can be, like, a weird thing to translate.
Like, what do they mean; and if we are responsible and mature, we shouldn't act directly off emotions, right?
But we were also given them for a reason. To live life to the fullest; to translate and understand life in ways that we could not if life were absent of emotions.
*
At work the other night, one of my respiratory therapists said something to me that kind of stuck to me.
She said something about me always being so smiley.
Side note, when she said that, I smiled.
Just because I smile a lot doesn't mean that I am never hurting.
It's just that I choose to choose to be happy, even when there are a lot of moments in life that just completely suck.
When you take a step back from everything, you're able to see that life can be filled with sucky moments but not completely suck; that the moments that fill your heart with smiles and your vocal cords with laughter drown out those moments filled with stress and worry.
Its your attitude about life that determines the life you live.
I choose to smile.
Maybe more so lately than normal.
I'll just flip through the pictures on my phone just to walk through the memories associated with them while nostalgic-ish music is lighting up the background.
Maybe it is the creative monster in me; the one who controls my passion for writing, blogging, and even coffee.
This week has been kind of insane. And as a night shifter, my sleep habits are all out of whack; my body does just whatever it wants to do. I can sleep for 18 hours in a row, or I can sleep for five and my body is like BAM its time to get up and be the most awake you have ever been despite your stress, your job, your terrible sleeping habits.
Most times this happens, the BAM it's wake up time, I will scroll through my phone for an hour or two and then go back to bed.
Well, this time I had a small urge to jump out of bed and run to the gym; these urges kind of stay in my body for all of two minutes, so I had to act fast.
So I jumped out of bed and instead of literally running to the gym, I just drove to the gym in my car.
My gym is right beside a Dunkin Donuts, so naturally, after I got done with realizing that I am very out of shape thanks to crazy 12-hour night shifts, I went to reward myself with a hot latte.
If you know a creative monster at all, you know that moments of inspiration come at random.
Or maybe that is just me.
I was walking out of Dunkin Donuts with a caramel latte in my hands and BAM the nostalgia-triggered inspiration just hit me.
Its like this weird tingly feeling in the center of my chest; its refreshing, really. My next breath feels lighter, my smile gets wider, and I promise this is not because coffee makes me 'high.'
Its in the moments, the cool breeze, the soft sounds, the dim lights, the overcast skies, the mellow songs that surround the background of my car that my moments are filled with inspiration and passion.
These moments are not random, but the inspiration that they seem to conjure up feels at random.
*
My favorite quote I have personally coined is the following.
And I guess that is one of the saddest parts of life. No matter how wonderful the memory, it will never be as beautiful as when it was lived in the present.
This is how it feels to be a very nostalgic person.
And I guess this is also how it feels to be in love with the life you live; to live in accordance with your passions and your emotions.
When you wear your heart on your sleeve, life is so much more deep.
Emotions can be, like, a weird thing to translate.
Like, what do they mean; and if we are responsible and mature, we shouldn't act directly off emotions, right?
But we were also given them for a reason. To live life to the fullest; to translate and understand life in ways that we could not if life were absent of emotions.
*
At work the other night, one of my respiratory therapists said something to me that kind of stuck to me.
She said something about me always being so smiley.
Side note, when she said that, I smiled.
Just because I smile a lot doesn't mean that I am never hurting.
It's just that I choose to choose to be happy, even when there are a lot of moments in life that just completely suck.
When you take a step back from everything, you're able to see that life can be filled with sucky moments but not completely suck; that the moments that fill your heart with smiles and your vocal cords with laughter drown out those moments filled with stress and worry.
Its your attitude about life that determines the life you live.
I choose to smile.
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