In need of a Sweater for my Soul

It's getting chilly outside; naturally, I grab my sweater, or something a little larger, and head outside.

There is always an outside climate, but what about the climate of our souls; the climate of our insides?
Mine? I've been riding an inner winter and have been without a sweater, mainly, on my own accord.
I've gotten so cold, that I have realized I need something to help me to stay warm; I have been stuck in this rut for such a time now, that I'm needing help to re-recognize how to appropriately use my sweater.

And I want to say that it is okay to be where you are.
That the person next to you may have everything under control, and what affects you in certain ways may not have any affect on them.
I want to say that even though its okay to be where you are, it's not okay to stay there.

My counselor told me something that I thought was next-level wisdom; but it's nothing less than the truth that has been the truth since the beginning of time.

"God acknowledges where you are."

That statement may not seem like much, but realizing that He knows where I am in this journey of life makes me feel not alone.
He knows that I need this sweater even though I have been denying it for a while now.

I want you to know that I'm not okay where I am at, and it's okay to realize that I need help.

It's okay to need to talk to someone.
It's okay to find specific coping mechanisms that work for you.

What is not okay is for that person to judge you based on their coping mechanisms.
Just like people with high blood pressure get to a point where they ideally need to take pharmaceuticals, the same goes for many areas of mental health.
{disclaimer: I am not going to get all in my beliefs of mental health right now. . .}

So we can't change certain people, right? Sometimes they add to the anxiety of the environment we are surrounded by.  Okay.
So I want to say this: It's not okay to listen to that person who tells you "Do you really take medication. . . all you need is vitamin J; you just need more of Jesus."
It's not okay to let someone assist you in that already defeating process of comparing yourself to others and internally tearing yourself apart.

Yes, Jesus we always need more of.
But do you tell your cardiac arrest patient's family that they just need more of Jesus while that endotracheal tube is hanging out of their mouth?
Does your hypertensive emergency patient need more of Jesus, or nicardipine?
Maybe both.


I started counseling a week ago.
There have been people who make me feel as if I shouldn't be internally cold.
And when you start comparing yourself and thinking to hard, the insides get colder and colder to where you feel like you can't think anymore and all you can say is "I don't know," because confusion wins when you are hypothermic.
I told this same woman that I got rid of a specific social media because of the stress it causes me.
She replied something of the following "You need to control your stress better."

She doesn't know your story. She doesn't know what goes on in your head.
So, naturally, you can't let her ignorant comments based on her own context mean anything to your own personal context.
Maybe her internal fireplace is filled with firewood, and she doesn't need that sweater.

I want you to know that God acknowledges you need that sweater, and is going help you re-learn how to use it, so in the coming months, he can start teaching you how to re-learn how to gather the firewood you need for your own internal fireplace.

Two songs that I have been able to relate to lately:
Losing me - gabrielle aplin & jp cooper
Before I lose my mind - etham