The Brick Wall

September 2017.

There come {a multitude of times} in a person's life where you hit that brick wall.

It's not really anything in particular that someone says or does, it kind of just all hits you at once because you are carrying this burden of being strong when knowledge is coming you for every single direction in the 360 degree circle of life. 

 . . . it kind of just hits you all at once because you are trying to push the emotions back and just use your head.

You try your darn hardest to be the person you want to be and go in the direction you want to go in . . . but there is just one thing in your way.

What distances you from your goals and your dreams is time.

In most people's mind, ambition is a strength.  On the contrary, I see ambition like a two-edged sword.

Ambition can get you in a lot of trouble with yourself; when your ambitions superceeds your ability to do what you are able to do with the knowledge you possess, frustration results.

Dad has always pushed me to be the best I can be; the lessons learned as a young child in elementary and middle school have translated into personality traits as an adult, and now, not only do I desire to be the best I can be, I aspire to be the best I can be as soon as I can be. 

Patience is not in my vocabulary; ambitions have no time to wait.

If anyone knows the frustration this trait builds, it is me.

There you stand, a face off between you and this brick wall.  You know you have limits, but in some situations, you are unaware of the limits you possess. Knowing how extreme your limits are can sometimes just make the brick wall seem even taller; knowledge is to be gained and the challenge to be tacked is a mighty one at that.  And you may have the motivation and excitement to begin that journey, but over time, the burden of being limited may send you in a mini-emotional-meltdown.

Time just seems to be my worst enemy. 

I knew where I started would bring challenges - and mighty challenges at that.  I am thankful for my continuing opportunity to learn things I never thought I would learn about, but the journey to who I want to be will be filled with many uphill battles and frustration.

It's only a matter of time. 

There exists another brick wall, and climbing it alone becomes exhausting.

And when you are exhausted, you begin to question as to why this brick wall meant so much to you in the first place.