What defines me?
So let me start off with a story.
A piece of fiction.
A girl walked into a elderly dying man's hospital room.
She hadn't known him for long, but his sacrifices, his smile, and the ring he wore around his ring finger reminded her of someone she used to know.
She lowered the bedside rail, moved the pillow his hand lay upon and sat down next to him.
Although he had stopped breathing, his heart still had a beat.
She took out her phone and desperately searched for his favorite song and placed her phone down next to the elderly gentleman's ear.
She took his limp hand in hers as she listened to the song and watched the telemetry monitor.
As the song came to a close, she picked up her phone, wanting to find another song for him to listen to.
As she did so, she heart the monitor alarm go off.
The song ended as the monitor read asystole.
Maybe she is too emotional.
Maybe too genuine.
Maybe she is just hormonal.
But when this happened, she burst out in tears as if she had known the man for her entire life.
Maybe he reminded her of someone she used to know.
Maybe she subconsciously wished she could have been sitting there with him on his bed as he passed.
What she would do for one more hug, one more holding of his hands.
Maybe that's why the tears rolled.
If anything, the girl counted herself lucky to be given the opportunity of knowing the man, even for such a short time.
She considered it an honor to hold his hand in his last moments on this earth, celebrating, surely, a life well lived.
*
The career of nursing teaches you a lot; being a nurse teaches you a lot.
You learn a lot about yourself.
You learn a lot about your strengths; even more about your weaknesses.
You learn a lot about those strengths that you actually view as weaknesses.
You learn a lot about other people.
You learn that there are type of people with characteristics and personalities you could have never imagine existed.
You learn that people are worth loving.
You learn that your hardships aren't hardships when compared to others' situations.
You learn people are complex, and sometimes you will never understand some.
And in the quietest moments, you learn what is truly important in life.
Sometimes people you meet leave you wondering, what defines me?
They may say things about you to really important people that just aren't true.
It may leave you scratching your head.
What is going on that makes such a person say things like this?
Does it make me question my character?
Sometimes, yes.
Should it make me question my integrity?
No, it definitely should not.
Why does this make me so emotional?
One of the things I hold so dear to my heart is who I am.
It is my goal to truly care about others; it is my goal to do my best work; I don't like letting other people down; I want to go my part and pull my weight and then some.
When someone attacks my character based on their viewpoints of not knowing me even in the slightest, it is something that seems to break me.
Why?
Dude, I don't know. Common' man, I'm only twenty-three; I'm trying to figure out this whole world, on top of all these emotions that swarm through my head at a million miles an hour.
This is the first time in my professional career that something like this has happened to me.
But, as I was warned, this shall not be the last.
There are people who take my hope out of this world.
And then there are people who put my hope back in humanity.
I want to constantly fill my presence with those who put my hope back in humanity.
Because those who take it away suck the life {and the tears} out of me.
Why can't adults act like adults?
Why do nurses have to 'eat' their young?
Others may say things about you that aren't true.
But my dad always says that if you stay true to who you are, tell the truth and do the right thing, your outcome will catch up with you.
Dad always says that if you are bitter, if you do the wrongs things, lie, steal, cheat, whatever it is, your outcome will catch up with you.
So even in the midst of adversary, and bitterness, and rumors and lies and hurtful words that just aren't true, I am going to continue to be me.
Because I have decided that who I am isn't all that bad.
I will try to show love when others do not.
I will try to be compassionate in the midst of others' bitterness.
I will try my hardest to stay true to my morals and values; because I am who I am.
I am not defined by others' lies or false accusations or pessimistic statements.
What defines me?
I am who He says I am.
And even in my weakest moments, I know who I am too.
A piece of fiction.
A girl walked into a elderly dying man's hospital room.
She hadn't known him for long, but his sacrifices, his smile, and the ring he wore around his ring finger reminded her of someone she used to know.
She lowered the bedside rail, moved the pillow his hand lay upon and sat down next to him.
Although he had stopped breathing, his heart still had a beat.
She took out her phone and desperately searched for his favorite song and placed her phone down next to the elderly gentleman's ear.
She took his limp hand in hers as she listened to the song and watched the telemetry monitor.
As the song came to a close, she picked up her phone, wanting to find another song for him to listen to.
As she did so, she heart the monitor alarm go off.
The song ended as the monitor read asystole.
Maybe she is too emotional.
Maybe too genuine.
Maybe she is just hormonal.
But when this happened, she burst out in tears as if she had known the man for her entire life.
Maybe he reminded her of someone she used to know.
Maybe she subconsciously wished she could have been sitting there with him on his bed as he passed.
What she would do for one more hug, one more holding of his hands.
Maybe that's why the tears rolled.
If anything, the girl counted herself lucky to be given the opportunity of knowing the man, even for such a short time.
She considered it an honor to hold his hand in his last moments on this earth, celebrating, surely, a life well lived.
*
The career of nursing teaches you a lot; being a nurse teaches you a lot.
You learn a lot about yourself.
You learn a lot about your strengths; even more about your weaknesses.
You learn a lot about those strengths that you actually view as weaknesses.
You learn a lot about other people.
You learn that there are type of people with characteristics and personalities you could have never imagine existed.
You learn that people are worth loving.
You learn that your hardships aren't hardships when compared to others' situations.
You learn people are complex, and sometimes you will never understand some.
And in the quietest moments, you learn what is truly important in life.
Sometimes people you meet leave you wondering, what defines me?
They may say things about you to really important people that just aren't true.
It may leave you scratching your head.
What is going on that makes such a person say things like this?
Does it make me question my character?
Sometimes, yes.
Should it make me question my integrity?
No, it definitely should not.
Why does this make me so emotional?
One of the things I hold so dear to my heart is who I am.
It is my goal to truly care about others; it is my goal to do my best work; I don't like letting other people down; I want to go my part and pull my weight and then some.
When someone attacks my character based on their viewpoints of not knowing me even in the slightest, it is something that seems to break me.
Why?
Dude, I don't know. Common' man, I'm only twenty-three; I'm trying to figure out this whole world, on top of all these emotions that swarm through my head at a million miles an hour.
This is the first time in my professional career that something like this has happened to me.
But, as I was warned, this shall not be the last.
There are people who take my hope out of this world.
And then there are people who put my hope back in humanity.
I want to constantly fill my presence with those who put my hope back in humanity.
Because those who take it away suck the life {and the tears} out of me.
Why can't adults act like adults?
Why do nurses have to 'eat' their young?
Others may say things about you that aren't true.
But my dad always says that if you stay true to who you are, tell the truth and do the right thing, your outcome will catch up with you.
Dad always says that if you are bitter, if you do the wrongs things, lie, steal, cheat, whatever it is, your outcome will catch up with you.
So even in the midst of adversary, and bitterness, and rumors and lies and hurtful words that just aren't true, I am going to continue to be me.
Because I have decided that who I am isn't all that bad.
I will try to show love when others do not.
I will try to be compassionate in the midst of others' bitterness.
I will try my hardest to stay true to my morals and values; because I am who I am.
I am not defined by others' lies or false accusations or pessimistic statements.
What defines me?
I am who He says I am.
And even in my weakest moments, I know who I am too.
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